Texts From Last Night · screwmybrainsout's Favorites

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screwmybrainsout's Favorites Texts:

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.

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(785): View more from Kansas

WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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(641): View more from Iowa

You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area

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(760): View more from California

But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy

(530): View more from California

I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast

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(231): View more from Michigan

My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

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(770): View more from Georgia

Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.

(208): View more from Idaho

......... Poor kitty

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