Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
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You better be dead by the time I get there so I don't kill you...
I want to text people like this
Amen.
that is how UBER JESUS died for our sins
I'm fucking your mom thats what I'm doing
Always keepin it real classy East Texas.
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