i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
