somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
