I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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