We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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