My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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