This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
