Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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