guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
