he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
