LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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