Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think people are normalizing furries
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
