I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
