Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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