i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
