Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
