There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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