8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
