Just fell off a train. Bad.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
