evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
