I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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