I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
