I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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