i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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