In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
