i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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