oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
