she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
