I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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