The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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