i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
