I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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