Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
