I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we're making bets on your personal life
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
