Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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