Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
dude. I can hear the air.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
