You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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