I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
