1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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