it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
