Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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