Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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