Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
