I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
