Don't you send me to vm
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
