UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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