Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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