i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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