how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
